Last night was almost like heaven for me. I haven't heard your voice all day, and I finally got to hear you say some words. You fell asleep after your first sentence, but that's okay. Maybe I can get a paragraph out of you, tonight. I missed listening to you whisper because of you being so sleepy. It's the cutest thing to me. I was just smiling for a long time while I was on the phone with you. And then I finally drifted off to sleep. You woke me up around 4am, because you flipped over in your bed, and let out all these amazing little noises. It startled me. Then I remembered who I was with...who I was talking too...and it calmed all my nerves.
We haven't talked since last night. Barely texting...it's hard, because I'm so used to the feeling of excitement when expecting your texts around lunch time. I don't get them, anymore. There's no excitement these days.
School was hard... I missed you a lot. I often times found myself day dreaming about what you were doing, or what guy is on your mind, or who you're talking too, or even the plans you were planning, that you don't fill me in on, anymore.
I was depressed the whole morning. Then when lunch time came, Dustin wasn't at school to get my mind off of you. Dangerous Territory.
I was in line to get some chicken nuggets and some mashed potatoes. My favorite school lunch.
But, my hunger went away when I heard "Never Say Never" by The Fray, come on the radio while I was standing in line. Instantly I was reminiscing on our past memories from the summer.
I remember being so hot, I'd open my window, and let the cool summer breeze flow through, and fill up my room. I remember complaining to you how hot it was, and every time I told you I took my shirt off, you'd make some cute, flirty remark. Then, when you took your shirt off, I'd do the same for you. I remember laying in bed until 6am. There was no such thing as goodnight for us during the summer. Only good mornings. I remember talking to you in bed, while listening to the radio. You used to get a little angry and jealous and be like "Baby, please pay attention to me." And if I didn't, you'd pout. And when I asked you what was wrong, you'd reply "You're paying more attention to your stupid radio then your baby." And it was the cutest thing.
After that memory faded, I found out I had tears in my eyes. Oh, how the pain struck my heart.
I sat at the lunch table by myself, and picked at my food. I wasn't hungry, anymore.
I remember telling you about this girl who goes to my school who looks so much like you. Her name is also Nicky. It's ironic, right?
She was shooting me looks from the other table. Maybe out of curiosity because I was sitting by myself. Maybe because she thought I looked cute, today. Or maybe she just thought I was weird. Whatever the reason, it made me miss you more. I picture you looking at me like that.. but, in a cute way. In a "Babe, what are you doing?!" kinda way. Maybe the way you'd look the moment before I ran towards you, and slung you over my shoulder, playfully. Your eyes would be popped, because you were awaiting the moment.
That made my eyes water even more.
Disgusted, I threw away my lunch and went to Anatomy. Today, we went to the computer lab. I had to do a project about Nose Jobs. It's not due until Monday, so I ignored it. Out of curiosity, I checked to see if Tumblr worked. Surprisingly, it did. So, I spent most of my hour on there. Me, being stupid, decided to go to your account. Just to stare at that little picture of you in the corner. That little picture of this amazingly beautiful girl in a little dress and a scarf. With big eyes, magnificent lips, and hair more smooth and dark the a eerie midnight sky.
I teared up again. I exited it out, and played some children games for the rest of the hour. Anything to get my mind off of you.
This is killing me. My day has completely ruled over me. It's all about you, now.
And it always will..
As I walk through the hall, my mind blocks out the faces of every girl I ever thought was attractive. There's no such thing as being attractive, anymore. There's no such thing as "Another girl" There's just you. And it's always going to be....you.
So, maybe it's true. That I can't live without you.
And maybe two is better then one.
But, there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life.
And you've already got me coming undone.
And I'm thinking two is better then one.
And maybe two is better then one.
But, there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life.
And you've already got me coming undone.
And I'm thinking two is better then one.
