You hurt me a lot last night on the phone.
You had a friend over, and we haven't talked on the phone all day. You called me a couple times and I ignored you because I was watching a movie. Before I went to sleep, I text you and told you Goodnight, and that I loved you. You called me, and we talked for a few minutes. You forgot to tell me you love me on the phone...so I kept calling you and get a hold of you. You got mad at me, and called me clingy...that we weren't even dating anymore, so leave you alone because you're trying to sleep. You called me annoying, and you laughed at me for being so pathetic. Than you hung up on me and left me there to cry by myself all night.
I've.....rarely ever done that to you....and especially now, I can't ever think to do it to you...
We're in love, why do you need space? Why do you care if I'm clingy? Shouldn't two people who are in love like that? You treat me like we're an average couple doomed for breakup soon.
I know we're not...there's no way, it can't be. Why would you throw me away? Why would you throw our future away? So you can make memories? Because you're young and you wanna go out and have fun? You're basing your life the wrong way....you're not looking at it right...
You have the rest of your life to make memories and have fun....there's not much you can do when you're 15, anyways. There's more important things to deal with right now....and I don't know why you keep pushing me away....I would never do that to you....
It hurts so much. I'm not eating. I'm shutting everyone else around me out of my life. You're all that's interesting to me. I lost interest in everything else.
You used to be like this, too....you just recently changed....and this is a bad combination...
A young, Christian boy who is straight edge, lovey, clingy, and selfish..
With a young girl who barely believes in God, wants space, wants to drink and party and make memories with everyone else except me...
God, I just miss you so much, Nicolette...
I'll never forget coming home and laying in bed with you for hours just talking on the phone...laughing, making jokes at each other.
Those were the times I was comfortable to love. Now I'm just nervous, because you're slipping from me...and I'm trying everything I can to hold on...
Common sense tells me to let you go and find someone else, but my heart won't let you go. And my mind won't give me to opportunity to attempt to do so. Two against one.
I don't know what to do anymore....I know you're under stress, and lately you just wanna hang out with your family and friends....I don't know what the feeling feels like...
You don't understand..

My Dad died when I was 13. The age where I was interested in girls, and was wanting to go out and try different things...
His death led me into a depression, where I pushed everyone away...
And now, a few years later, it stayed with me.
When I find a girl who I trust...who I open up too.....I rely on her....she's apart of me..
And losing her brings tears to my eyes, because the pain of losing my Dad comes back...and I'm not good with losing people..
You've become so important to me. I would take a bullet for you. I would give everything I have to just hold you.
I'd sell my soul to the Devil just to spend the night with you.
You don't understand what I feel....because you're too busy and careless to talk about it....and it's eating me alive...

I just love you. And I'm willing to do ANYTHING to be with you.
I will not let this go to waste.